Random'ness that is me!
by Oracle
Summary: If it's late in the night, and you're bored...read this and get a few laughs...^-^


Random'ness that is me

**Random'ness that is me!**

By: Duet Maxwell [IshinigamigalI@aol.com][1]

I do not own Gundam Wing, or any of its characters…*sobs*. All things Gundam and its labels and other indicia belong to their respective owners. Please email comments to me or R&R!

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I wrote this while talking to a non-anime bud through IM….poor guy….He started cracking up at it, so I kept it up, and this is what it became. I didn't have the heart to just delete it all, so here it is for those people who are so bored that they'll actually read it…Mwahahaha!!! (things in italics are my thoughts)

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** **

**Duo**: Hey buddy!

**Heero**: Omae o Korosu

**Duo**: eep 

**Relena**: Heeeeeeero!!!

**Heero**: eep 

**Duo**: hahahahaha!!!! That crazy onna found you again! 

**Heero**: Omae o Korosu

**Duo**: Damn it 

**Relena**: Heero, I found you!

**Heero**: damn it

**Duo**: hahahahahaha!!!! 

**Heero**: Hide me?

**Duo**: *shrug* why not? *throws Heero into a closet that appears from no where* 

**Relena**: Where'd Heero go? *sobs*

**Duo**: erm....I think he went to colony 1...1947953...'bout 50 million miles that a way... 

**Relena**: Heeeeero!! I'm coming!!! *runs off* 

**Heero**: *from the closet* is she gone? 

**Duo**: Yes...you owe me 

**Heero**: Damn it

**Duo**: hahahahahaha!!!!! 

**Zechs**: *from outta no where* Heero, I have come to fight you.

**Duo**: Dude again? how many times are you two gonna do this?

**Heero** and **Zechs**: shut up, baka 

**Heero**: All right...middle of antartica again?

**Zechs**: Sounds good 

**Duo**: You guys suck... 

**Wufei**: Anyone seen Trieze?

**Duo**: Didn't you kill him at the end of the series? 

**Wufei**: Oh yeah, you're right. haha, that weakling! 

**Duo**: Who you gonna fight now Wu-man? 

**Wufei**: I...I don't know! Augh! My life has no purpose.....damn it!...and don't call me Wu-man... 

**Duo**: haha, Wuffy has no purpose! That must really suck

**Wufei**: At least I don't look like a girl and dress like a priest

**Duo**:....dude, that was harsh... 

**Quatre**: *out of no where like everyone else* Wufei, that wasn't very polite. You hurt Duo's feelings.

**Duo**: *sniffle* yes he did

**Wufie**: argh....*walks away*

**Duo**: Bye bye Wuffy!!!!!!

**Trowa**: *from out of no where? yes.* ......

**Duo**: Hi Trowa

**Trowa**:........*nod*

**Quatre**: *blush* 

**Duo**: Oh geesh, don't make me sick, go get a room you two 

*Trowa and Quatre walk away together* 

**Duo**: Damnit....there's no one to talk with now...*pout* 

**Heero**: I'm back

**Duo**: yay!!!! 

**Duo**: What happened?

**Heero**: Zechs and I remembered that we already settled are score at the end of the series, and that we were on the same side in the movie 

**Duo**: Oi...I could have told you that, idiot

**Heero**: Omae O Korosu 

**Duo**: You know, you keep saying that, I don't think you mean it though 

**Heero**: *points gun at Duo's head*

**Duo**: You always do that too, but you never cock the gun 

**Heero**: *cocks gun*

**Duo**: O.o......hey look, it's Relena! 

**Heero**: *turns white* Hide me!

**Duo**: *throws Heero back into the closet* hehehe, I am so good 

*food appears from no where*

**Duo**: Yay!!!!!!!!! 

The End

Part Two 

**Duo**: *munches food* 

**Heero**: *from closet* How long have these socks been in here? 

**Duo**: A while I guess...why?

**Heero**: They stink, get me outta here!

**Duo**: You're the 'perfect soldier', do it yourself 

**Heero**: When I get outta here, I really am gonna kill you 

**Duo**: *thinks for a moment and then shrugs* eh, bound to happen sooner or later...*goes back to eating* 

**Wufei**: *from the corner* I have no one left to fight......*in fetal position*...what am I to do?! 

**Duo**: You're really starting to freak me out Wu-man...

**Wufei**: *rocks back and forth mumbling*

**Duo**: *moves a step away and goes back to eating* 

*Quatre, blushing, appears with his shirt untucked*

**Duo**: Hey Quatre 

*Trowa, smiling, appears with shirt untucked also*

**Duo**: *looks back and forth at them* I don't wanna know.... 

**Quatre**: *tucks shirt back in* Erm...what's with Wufei?

**Duo**: He lost it

**Quatre**: Oh

**Trowa**: ......

**Duo**: yeah....so anyways... 

**Heero**: *get's out of closet finally* DUO!!!!!! 

**Duo**: eep..... 

**Duo**: um...….aw shit, I'm so screwed...

**Trowa**: It's not that bad

**Duo**: Dude, shut up! that's just...wrong...go back to not talking! 

**Heero**: I'm gonna kill you now for sure...with my bare hands! 

**Duo**: eep 

*Duo tries to flee*

**Heero**: *grabs Duo's braid* 

**Duo**: No touchy!! Hand's off the braid you spandex psycho! 

**Heero**: *sniffle* You don't like it that I wear spandex? 

**Duo**: *blushes* actually I.....nevermind... 

**Heero**: You what? 

**Duo**: Nothing!

**Heero**: *frowns* If you wont tell....Omae o Korosu 

**Duo**: Do me already!!! 

**Heero**: *raised eyebrow* 

**Duo**: I didn't mean that! I meant kill me already 

**Wufei**: they're all weaklings....weaklings.... 

**Quatre**: Shouldn't some one put him out of his misery? 

**Sally**: I'll take him! 

**Wufei**: Not that onna..... 

**Sally**: Aw, you're so cute when you're weak..

**Wufei**: *sniffles* I'm not weak!

**Sally**: *drags him away* 

**Duo**: Poor guy....didn't have a chance 

**Relena**: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *breath* eeeeeeero!!!!!! 

**Heero**: Now if you're gonna call someone psycho, it should be her, Duo. 

**Duo**: I agree 

**Quatre**: does she ever stop?

**Trowa**: .......doesn't look like it....

*they stare into each other's eyes* 

*Duo and Heero gag*

**Duo**: get a room or something, you're grossing me out...

*Trowa and Quatre wander off* 

**Duo**: Now what?

**Relena**: Heeeeeeero! Where are you?

**Duo**: Oh right...psycho chick that's in love with you found us again 

**Relena**: Duo, where's Heero?

**Duo**: ummm...he's somewhere else? 

**Relena**: *sniffle* Why does he keep running away?

**Duo**: Duh, you doesn't love you...and they call me the idiot 

**Relena**: *sobs* why not?! 

**Duo**: umm.....he's gay, didn't you know that?

**Relena**: He is?! 

**Duo**: Um...yeah, yes he is, as gay as they come. Sorry.

**Relena**: Oh well....*wanders off* 

**Heero**: I'm gonna kill you!

**Duo**: What? why?!

**Heero**: You told her I'm gay! 

**Duo**:...you aren't? 

**Heero**: *glare*

**Duo**: Well..I mean...what straight guy wears spandex in public? 

**Heero**:....I...ummmm

**Duo**: See? Told ya. You're gay.

**Heero**: damn it 

**Heero**: No I'm, not.

**Duo**: Then why the spandex? I mean, where the hell do you hide that gun of yours anyway? 

**Heero**:....

**Duo**: don't answer that please...

**Heero**: *nods* well...you're gay too 

**Duo**: No I'm not!

**Heero**: What guy has a three foot braid? 

**Duo**: A very cool guy that gets a lot of girls

**Heero**: baka 

**Heero**: But you act so.....

**Duo**: gay?

**Heero**: yeah

**Duo**: Hey, the girl's love it 

**Heero**: oh.... 

**Heero**: So I'm gay...but you're not?

**Duo**: exactly 

**Heero**: that's not fair

**Duo**: your point being?

**Heero**: It's not right, I can't be gay if you're not. Why would I have a girl chasing me if I was gay? 

**Duo**: ummm...

**Heero**: And why don't you have girl's chasing you? hmmm?

**Duo**: Cause....um... 

**Heero**: Admit it, you're gay!

**Duo**: *shrugs* all right, I'm gay.

**Heero**: That's not fun...

**Duo**: huh?

**Heero**: You're suppose to protest and stuff! 

**Duo**: But why? it's true, I'm gay. Like Quatre and Trowa

**Heero**: They're gay? 

**Duo**: the whole audience knows that, man are you blind 

**Heero**: So am I still gay if you're gay?

**Duo**: I dunno, I'm confused now..... 

**Heero**: Do I have to be gay?

**Duo**: I guess not

**Heero**: okay, but then, does that mean that Relena'll still follow me around like a stalker?

**Duo**: yeah, probably 

**Heero**: I'd be better off gay.... 

**Duo**: is she that bad?

**Heero**: *nods* yeah

**Duo**: how sad 

**Heero**: Are you gay?

**Duo**: not if you're not

**Heero**: then who do you have?

**Duo**: Hilde! 

**Hilde**: Duo!

**Duo**: Hilde!

**Heero**: oi.... 

**Relena**: Heeeero!!!!!

**Heero**: *sigh* 

*Duo talks nonstop with Hilde*

**Heero**: Hide me Duo

**Duo**: Go hide yourself, I'm making my moves here, man! 

**Relena**: I've finally found you, Heero!!!!

**Heero**: *sigh* yes....you have...someone kill me..

**Relena**: What was that?

**Heero**: nothing... 

*Relena drags Heero away* 

*food appears out of no where*

**Duo**: Food! 

**Hilde**: Duo?

**Duo**: *follows food*

**Hilde**: Duo!!!! 

*Hilde walks away angry*

**Duo**: *munches food* yay for me. 

The End....or is it? 

**Duo**: yes it is, 'cause I wanna eat

_oh okay, The End _

Part Three

**Duo**: *snoring* 

**Wufei**: haha

_oh shut up..you....weakling you_

**Wufei**: that's mean......

Well, you're mean too 

**Wufei**: point taken 

**Duo**: *still snoring*

**Heero**: could someone please shut him up? 

**Quatre**: sorry, I'm going to bed, can't help you *goes into a room* 

**Trowa**: I'm tired too, good night.

**Heero**: night

*Trowa goes into same room* 

**Heero**....ack! ewwwww 

**Duo**: *wakes* hum? what? 

**Heero**: Nothing, go back to sleep

**Duo**: *snore* 

**Wufei**: Hey Heero, fight me

**Heero**: No thanks, I don't fight weaklings

**Wufei**: *crawls into fetal position and starts mumbling*

**Heero**: hehe, that's fun 

*Sally drags Wufei away* 

**Duo**: *talking in sleep* hamburgers.... 

**Heero**: We're all a bunch of weirdo's... 

**Duo**: *wakes up* Well duh 

**Heero**: I'm tired

**Duo**: *yawns* then go to sleep

**Heero**: But there are no more rooms, and you're on the couch

**Duo**: sucks to be you 

**Heero**: *shoves Duo off couch*

**Duo**: should have seen that coming... 

**Heero**: *snore* 

**Duo**: hmmm...*runs off to the kitchen* 

*runs back*

**Duo**: *sprays whipping cream on Heero's face and in his hair and on his hands* He asked for it... 

*grabs a glass of water and places Heero's fingers in it*

**Duo**: hehehe, don't mess with Death 

*random couch appears*

**Duo**: yay

*jumps onto couch and goes to sleep*

**Duo**: *snore* 

The End, for real, 'cause I'm tired 

**Pilots**: Yay!!!

_Oh, shut up…_

_ _

~OWARI~

Holy smokes, you actually read it all???!!! You seriously must have been bored. If you liked it, please post a review! Ja.^-^_ _

   [1]: mailto:IshinigamigalI@aol.com



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